What do you fear?

Earlier this year I did something I’ve never done before. I’ve always wanted to but I always allowed fear to hold me back.

Fear of judgment.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of failure.
Fear of stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something uncomfortable.

So in May of this year, I decided to simply go for it. I worked for days on a piece I had written previously entitled “Finding Joy after a Devastating Loss”. Finally, when it was done to my satisfaction I entered it in Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Competition.

I waited anxiously until October hoping I’d receive an email saying I’d place in the competition.

But I didn’t.

I was disappointed. I still am. However, I’m happy that I actually did it.

I didn’t win but neither did fear.

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

Have you stepped out of your comfort zone lately and done something you were afraid to do? I’d love to hear about it.

Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~

A Whole Lot of Stuff

I’m a bit of a fraidy cat… I admit it. It doesn’t take much to scare me, which is why I don’t ever watch scary or extra suspenseful movies. I stopped when I was a teenager, because I couldn’t sleep for weeks afterwards. However earlier this year I got sucked into watching something that didn’t seem all that scary, but it was. What movie was it? Well it wasn’t actually a movie. It was a reality show called Hoarders.

I'm over at Laced With Grace today.  I'd love for you to stop by and read the rest of my post A Whole Lot of Stuff

Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~

Fall Upon Your Knees

When life deals you a blow

That knocks you off your feet

And your very foundation is shake

Fall upon your knees

When all the emotions inside you

Becomes the bitter tears you drink

And mere words can’t express your heart

Just fall upon your knees.

When it seems you’re all alone

And no one cares for you

And there’s just emptiness inside

Just fall upon your knee

When your heart is crying out

For the answers that you need

And no one can bring you comfort

I beg you fall upon your knees

On your knees you’ll find the answers

To life hurts, disappointments and pain

And your tears will be dried up

By the very one you seek

Because when life deals you a blow

That knocks you off your feet

You’ll find the answer only in Jesus

So just fall upon you knees

Nov 9, 06

I wrote this poem four years ago a little ove a month after my mother died. 
I'm so thankful that when we go on our knees before Jesus he listens, he dries our tears, he comforts us... We don't always get the answers that we want but we find the peace that we need.


Trusting Him,
 ~Bernadine~

I wish I had known...

It was Sunday afternoon. The dinner table was empty although just an hour before it was filled with family laughing, discussing the Sunday sermon and enjoying Sunday dinner. Everyone had retired to rest before the evening service and I was the lone person up and about sweeping the steps outside my parents’ front door. I can’t remember what the sermon was that day but I remember that I was happy and humming as I swept.

It was at this time that two teenage young men, one of whom I had known his entire life, walked by. “Good afternoon,” they called out.

“Good afternoon,” I responded then added, “Did you take time out to go to church today and give God thanks for keeping you through out last week?”

One of the young men stopped and talked to me for a minute and the other continued walking as if he hadn’t heard. The young man that stopped was not known to me. However he seemed interested in what I had to say and in the short time he stopped I told him about the importance of developing a relationship with God and taking time to give Him thanks for the gift of life.

I never saw the young man who continued walking again. A week later he and two others went missing during a boating trip. When I heard the news I felt as if I had been punched in the gut. I stood there shell shocked and then I cried.

I cried because of a young life that was gone too soon.

I cried because of the uncertainty, the not knowing whether he’d made it right with God.

I cried because if I knew that those words were going to be the last words I would ever speak to that young man I would have called him by name as he walked away and tried harder to have a conversation about God. However, I didn’t know. None of us know which opportunity will be the last opportunity we have to tell someone about Christ.

It’s been almost ten years since this happened and I still remember it vividly as if it happened yesterday. It is a reminder to me to take every opportunity to share Christ with others. For when I take my last breath on this Earth I want to know above all that I’ve pointed others to my Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~

Like the Woman with the Alabaster Box... I Came

Like the woman with the alabaster box

image courtesy of photobucket.com

I came to Jesus.

I came to him laden with emotional baggage of many kinds
But still I came

I came with the residue of pain from past hurts I couldn’t let go…
I came to him knowing that many had written me off,

Wondering if Jesus would see something worth saving in me…
Hopefully I came

But as I knelt before him something happened
The Lamb of God, savior of the world reached down
 and lifted me to my feet

He took my chin within his hand and lifted my face towards his own
As I looked into his eyes I saw such kindness, such compassion such love…
I wept

He dried my tears and called me by name
“My child weep no more I am here, “ he said

As I looked into those eyes I continued to weep and as I wept
 my burdens… They miraculously disappeared

The pain,

the hurt,

the shame…

I felt it no more



Like the woman with the alabaster box when I left His presence

image courtesy of fotosearch.com

I was rejoicing

I was forgiven

I was free

Trusting Him,

 ~Bernadine~







Uncle Authur’s Bedtime Stories = Special Memories

I love to read. I’ve been known to pick up a book and shut out the world. I can’t help it. I’m a bookworm. I got it from my mom.

image by fotosearch.com

I can remember snuggling under her arms as she read me fairy tales, bible stories and other interesting books. However, my favorite books for her to read to me were the Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories. They were stories about little boys and girls my age who learned to ask God for forgiveness when they did wrong and prayed to him when they were in trouble.

Somehow I could always put myself in the place of those boys and girls in the stories, especially the mischievous ones. They were so familiar they seemed almost like family.

I had the perfect opportunity to put the lessons I learnt in the stories to work when I was about seven years old. Mommy had given into my constant nagging and let me assist her with wrapping some coins. I’m sure I was more of a hindrance than a help getting in the way and chattering away a mile a minute. For some reason, maybe a seven year old chatterbox, Mommy couldn’t seem to wrap the coins properly.

Guess who stepped in to save the day? Yes it was me. I remembered the repetitive lessons from the Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime stories I said to her, “Mommy why don’t we ask Jesus to help us?” She indulgently agreed. So we stopped a minute, said a quick prayer and then went back to work. Shortly afterwards I miraculously got one wrapped.

"See Mommy,” I told her beaming, “didn’t I say we should ask Jesus to help us?”

“Yes Baby” she said smiling. She never let on that I had still wrapped it completely wrong.



My sweet mom and me in her hat.



     Four years ago today I cried because my mother died

but today I’m pulling out memories that make me smile.

           What’s your favorite memory of your mom? It can be a childhood memory or a recent one.

Trusting Him,

 ~Bernadine~