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| My cousin Pearl & I |
It was during our weekly conversation when out of the
blue she said to me, “I’ve told Jesus
whatever His will is just let it be.”
I knew exactly what she meant but I didn’t want to
hear it, not at that time. So my reply
to her was, “We know where we’re going when we leave this earth. We’ll be going home to be with Jesus. There’s
no reason to be afraid but you don’t have to be in a hurry to say your
goodbyes.
We talked, we laughed, I prayed and told her, “I love
you and I’d call again soon.” Neither of us knew that would be our final
conversation.
I
wish I had taken that moment to say:
I believe with
all my heart I’m going to see you again on this earth but, if I don’t I want
you to know my friend, you’ve had an impact on my life. You’ve left an
impression on my heart that will never be erased.
You have given generously, loved unselfishly and
defended all. You smiled through your pain while offering others comfort and
support. You lived out your faith,
trusting always in God.
You believed however he answered His way was best and
you lived surrendered to his perfect will.
But
I didn’t say this because wouldn’t saying it mean I had no faith? Who
says goodbye when believing for a miracle?
I hate goodbyes.
If I can I avoid it, the awkwardness, the sadness, the finality of goodbye. However, whether we are in
perfect health or dealing with a life threatening illness, we don’t know how
far we are away from our final goodbyes with our loved ones. Hence we should make each moment count, say
the things that need saying so there are no regrets.
When I tried to explain my sometimes mixed up words to
my cousin she’d always say, “You don’t have to explain, I know your heart.” So
today I take comfort in knowing, although in that moment I didn’t say the words
I wish I had said, she knew how I felt about her.
…Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalms 30:5
I also rejoice in the fact that because we shared the
same faith in our risen savior I’m going to see her again.
20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Philippians 3:20-21(NIV)
Are
there any words that you want to say to someone you love?
I encourage you to say it…
Heavenly Father, I pray for those today who are
dealing with grief. Wrap your loving
arms around them. Let them feel your
presence and your peace. Give them the
strength to make it through this difficult time.
I write this post in memory of my cousin and friend
Nurse Pearl Carey. Beloved child of God.
I also shared this post at Laced With Grace.
Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~
