Encouragement Along the Way

Pastor Lisa Shaw with my book

I have blogged for over 10 years and during that time I have met some lovely ladies who over time I have come to call friends. One of them is Pastor Lisa Shaw. She is the author, speaker and a Certified Personal & Executive Coach. She has a heart for women in every age and stage in life and encourages them to soar and not give up on their dreams. She is one of my blogging friends who has encouraged my blogging and writing journey. She has also given me the opportunity to write for her blog.

 Pastor Lisa is one of the persons who encouraged me to complete, BecomingHis Dream Girl. Though she never saw my manuscript she believed that since it was something that I was passionate about, it was worth seeing through to completion. She encouraged me to set goals for each step of my book and then checked to see if I had completed them.

There was a time I told her my book was finished (in my defense I truly thought it was). Her reply was a series of questions… Did you write your, about the author, your acknowledgement and dedication? What about your cover design? Did you choose a photo for your back cover? What about your, back cover summary…? My answer since I had not done any of these things was a bashful, “I guess I’m not as finished as I thought I was. So, it was back to work. However, I honestly found it so much easier to work with clear deadlines and goals.

This journey of publishing my first book has taught me so much and I'm so grateful for the encouragement and help of friends along the way.

Do you have people who encourage you and cheer you on in your life? 

 Trusting Him,

~Bernadine~


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Updated to add photo.

Becoming His Dream Girl, now available on Amazon

I'm so happy to say that my book Becoming His Dream girl is now available on Amazon! I'm so excited about this book and hope that you will purchase it for the young ladies in your life. You can purchase your copy here.

Trusting Him,
 ~Bernadine~

It's Never too Late to Follow your Dreams

Cover design by: Alisa Wagner

Do you have dreams that you've given up on ever realizing? I can definitely relate. I’m a self-described dreamer. I have notebooks full of dreams, plans and goals that I often talk myself out of accomplishing. It’s not that I’m not passionate about them, I just tend to let fear, discouragement and life’s many obstacles get in the way of me doing all that I can to make those dreams reality.

 For more years than I can count one of those dreams has been to publish a book. It started with the dream of publishing a book of poems, which I talked myself out of. Then it moved on to a series of teen inspirational fiction. I ultimately turned those into short stories for my teen girl magazine. I simply couldn’t commit to following this dream of writing a book because, who would read it?

So, I didn’t write the books I dreamed of writing. Instead, I concentrated on my teen girl magazine. I spoke to the occasional teen girl group that I was invited to speak to and I decided that my publishing dream probably would never be realized. Then, I was invited to speak to Rachael’s Daughters, a teen girls’ mentoring group. I spoke to them on the topic, “Becoming the Girl of His Dreams”. The words that I spoke to them resonated with me also. So, every so often I’d pick up the speech, brush it off, add a few words to it then put it back on the shelf again.

This year, I decided it was either finish it or forget about it. So, I enlisted the help of people I trusted to give me an honest opinion of what I had written. Their critiques, suggestions and encouragement gave me the courage to continue my years long project and made my work better. 

Finally, I am so excited to say that my book Becoming His Dream Girl, will soon be out.

One thing I have learned from this process is that it’s never too late to follow your dreams.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:1

Trusting Him,
 ~Bernadine~

Don’t Feed Negativity

I was checking my email when I came across an unfamiliar email address.  It
didn’t surprise me because I frequently received emails in response to articles I published in my teen girl magazine.  I opened the email and then sat there in shock.  It was a short email, only eight words in length and unsigned.

“You still waiting on true love? You fool.”

This happened quite a few years ago, but I remember that as I read the email I felt hurt, anger and shock all at once. I wondered why someone would take the time to send an insulting email to a stranger because of something they perceived to be foolish. I had received negative emails before however, this one felt like a personal attack. 

It is so easy in our social media driven world for people to attack each other.  From behind the anonymity of a computer screen they attack people that they have never met and likely, will never meet in real life.  Why? Because they look different? Think differently? Act differently? Why does someone acting upon their right to think, look or behave in a certain way upset someone so much that they take the time to send a negative message or leave a rude comment?

There’s a name for people who act in such a negative manner on the internet.  They are called trolls.  Their only objective is to cause an argument or crush someone’s spirit.  The best advice I’ve seen given to handle internet trolls is, “don’t feed the trolls!”  There is a saying, “whatever you feed will grow.”   In all honesty, I’ve answered a few of them, inclusive of the one I talked about. There’s no satisfaction in it though. It’s best not to no matter how tempted you are. None of us want negativity growing in our minds. So, ignore the trolls.  Don’t engage because that’s exactly what they want.

Has this ever happened to you, online or in your day to day life? Have you ever felt attacked because of your beliefs, appearance, the way you dress etc.?  It hurts, doesn’t it?  If you let it, you can be left feeling as if there is something wrong with you.  But, there isn’t. We are all uniquely made by God. You are His masterpiece, the apple of His eye.  He loves you just the way you are. Allow those to be the thoughts that you feed.  The thoughts that God thinks about you. Let His positive thoughts towards you grow, bloom and replace the negative thoughts of others.

None of us is identical in the way we think and act. Don’t allow the perception of people who don’t truly know you to become the reflection you see of yourself.

Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~

Transparency in Writing

I love to write. Writing has always been my way of focusing my thoughts, sharing what’s in my heart and working through whatever I’m dealing with.  I often find it quite therapeutic to write my thoughts down.  I write often, my writings take the form of journal entries, letters to God, poems, or just scribbles on pieces of paper expressing my thoughts.

My first draft is often raw and filled with whatever emotions I feel at that time.  Then I read it over.  Depending on what I wrote, I start feeling a bit vulnerable and I second guess myself, especially if it’s something I plan to share on my blog.

"Do I really want to say that?"

"Maybe I need to take a, b or c out. I’m sure this post will flow fine without it."

You can guess what happens next… I start editing and I continue editing until the feeling of vulnerability is not so strong. Sometimes when I'm finished the heart of what I'm writing is edited out but I feel less timid about allowing the post to go live.

 Why do I do this? Well, I have a confession…

I sometimes care entirely too much about what others, including people I don't even know think.  I allow it to affect what I share in this space and elsewhere.  It's not that there's some deep dark secret that I have, it's simply that my writings are usually from the heart, no filter, no mask and sometimes life behind the mask feels much safer.  However, God doesn't call us to a life of fear.  He calls us to live bold and authentically before Him.  His word tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that, He has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

I know this verse and I quote it along with many others when I'm faced with different situations. Unfortunately, I still find myself censoring and editing my words because I hate the feeling of vulnerability that sometimes comes with sharing my thoughts. I'm still learning and trying to overcome my fear of appearing vulnerable and become more bold, fearless and transparent in my writing because it's a huge part of who I am.

I’d like to ask you something:

How do you deal with transparency, in your sharing online or in other areas of your life? 

How do you allow yourself to be transparent and not worry so much about what others think?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and maybe we can help each other to become more transparent.

Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~