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My first draft is often raw and filled with whatever
emotions I feel at that time. Then I
read it over. Depending on what I wrote,
I start feeling a bit vulnerable and I second guess myself, especially if it’s
something I plan to share on my blog.
"Do I really want
to say that?"
"Maybe I need to take
a, b or c out. I’m sure this post will flow fine without it."
You can guess what happens next… I start editing and I
continue editing until the feeling of vulnerability is not so strong. Sometimes
when I'm finished the heart of what I'm writing is edited out but I feel less
timid about allowing the post to go live.
Why do I do this?
Well, I have a confession…
I sometimes care entirely too much about what others,
including people I don't even know think.
I allow it to affect what I share in this space and elsewhere. It's not that there's some deep dark secret that
I have, it's simply that my writings are usually from the heart, no filter, no
mask and sometimes life behind the mask feels much safer. However, God doesn't call us to a life of
fear. He calls us to live bold and
authentically before Him. His word tells
us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that, He has not given us a spirit of fear and
timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
I know this verse and I quote it along with many others when
I'm faced with different situations. Unfortunately, I still find myself
censoring and editing my words because I hate the feeling of vulnerability that
sometimes comes with sharing my thoughts. I'm still learning and trying to
overcome my fear of appearing vulnerable and become more bold, fearless and
transparent in my writing because it's a huge part of who I am.
I’d like to ask you something:
How do you deal with
transparency, in your sharing online or in other areas of your life?
How do you allow
yourself to be transparent and not worry so much about what others think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and maybe we can help each
other to become more transparent.
Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~
