Because You First Loved Me…

Dear God,

I was thinking about you today, about our relationship and when you became such an important, vital part of me.   I cannot exist without you because you’ve completely become a part of my DNA.  There is no me without you.  There is no joy without you.  There is no reason to live without you.

When did it become so..?  I remember when I was a little girl my mom always talked about you, a whole lot.  She always had a glow on her face when she did.  I remember her kneeling down and praying, I remember her praying with me and for me, but most of all I remember her talking to you while she went about her daily routine, while she cooked, cleaned, did the laundry… It was so obvious that she loved you, she never ran out of things to say to you.

As a little girl, watching her, I fell in love with the idea of loving someone so completely that I couldn’t go for long periods without talking to Him and I did talk to you often but I still couldn’t understand why Mommy loved you so.

But Father, that day when I was in that Christian Student Movement meeting at my high school it all became real.  I felt your love. I was enveloped by it and it activated my love for you.  I knew then what the scripture, We love him because he first loved us, (1 John 4:14) meant.

At that moment father, your love wasn’t just an idea, it was real, and I stood with tears draining down my face at the wonder of it all… that you loved me.  To this day I’m still blown away by you.  I totally understand why my mommy loved you so because I love you the same, with my whole heart.

Love ,

Your daughter,

Bernadine

Things that make you go hmmm...

I’m channeling Arsenio Hall today, with things that make you go hmmm…

What if God was like us?

Hmmm…

What if He judged us the way we judged others?

Hmmm…

What if He answered us in an icy tone when we spoke to him?

Hmmm…

What if He took his own slow time forgiving us?

Hmmm…

What if He made it obvious that although we were forgiven our sins were not forgotten?

Hmmm…

What if He brought them up every time we disappointed Him?

Hmmm…

What if He withheld His love from us when we needed Him most?

Hmmm…

I don’t know about you but I’m sooo… thankful God is not like me because I’d be in big time trouble. I would not want to be at my mercy on one of my bad days:)

While there are some times when I’m pleased with my progress in God there are some days when I think girl, you have such a long way to go. This is why ever so often I have periods of self evaluation where I remind myself not to judge, to forgive, to watch my tone, to leave the past in the past… all of the things that are so easy to forget in the heat of a moment.

But, I'm gonna keep trying to remember to be more like Him...


Trusting Him,
 ~Bernadine~

Still Relevant

Have you ever been sitting in a service and notice during the sermon someone who is feverishly writing? Maybe you wondered, “What in the world is she writing?” We’ll I’m that girl. I don’t always have the best memory so I always want to write down the gems I find in the sermons to read over and meditate on later.

It was recently that I came across the journal that held my notes from sermons I heard during my college years. As I read over the notes I realized that although quite a few years has passed, the sermon notes that I had taken were still fresh and relevant.


I'm at Laced with Grace today. Do stop by to read the rest of my article Still Relevant


Trusting Him,
~Bernadine~

In Remembrance ~ September 11th

I am not an American, but I have friends who are.


I have family and friends who have made America their home.

I am not an American, but on September 11, 2001 I felt America’s pain as if it was my own.

And today like my friends across America, I remember.


I remember,

The shock,

The horror,

The uncertainty,

But I also remember the acts of

Courage,

Heroism and

Bravery

I remember that in the midst of death, despair and destruction that forever changed September 11th from an ordinary day to one forever etched in our memory God was there.

Ten years later as America (and its friends and neighbors) remember its losses, celebrate and pay tribute to its heroes and continue to move forward God is still present.

And in the days, weeks, months and years to come God will still be there…

Thank you Lord that you are always present, in the good and especially in difficult time.


Trusting Him,
 ~Bernadine~