Because You First Loved Me…

Dear God,

I was thinking about you today, about our relationship and when you became such an important, vital part of me.   I cannot exist without you because you’ve completely become a part of my DNA.  There is no me without you.  There is no joy without you.  There is no reason to live without you.

When did it become so..?  I remember when I was a little girl my mom always talked about you, a whole lot.  She always had a glow on her face when she did.  I remember her kneeling down and praying, I remember her praying with me and for me, but most of all I remember her talking to you while she went about her daily routine, while she cooked, cleaned, did the laundry… It was so obvious that she loved you, she never ran out of things to say to you.

As a little girl, watching her, I fell in love with the idea of loving someone so completely that I couldn’t go for long periods without talking to Him and I did talk to you often but I still couldn’t understand why Mommy loved you so.

But Father, that day when I was in that Christian Student Movement meeting at my high school it all became real.  I felt your love. I was enveloped by it and it activated my love for you.  I knew then what the scripture, We love him because he first loved us, (1 John 4:14) meant.

At that moment father, your love wasn’t just an idea, it was real, and I stood with tears draining down my face at the wonder of it all… that you loved me.  To this day I’m still blown away by you.  I totally understand why my mommy loved you so because I love you the same, with my whole heart.

Love ,

Your daughter,

Bernadine