Almost

Almost

I almost gave up Lord

I almost let you go

For I couldn’t hear your voice

When I felt I needed you most

I had devised my plan

And how to follow through

I was going to pack it in

I’d decided I was through

But with one simple act

You’ve shown yourself to me

To let me know that

You had never forsaken me

I realize now Father

You were speaking all along

But I was too angry, bitter and hurt

To pay attention to your voice

For I knew if I had listened

You’d have said to let it go

For bitterness has no place

Within a Christian’s soul

You’d have told me, I’m sure,

That I was fighting without cause

For the battle is not mine

Jesus had already won it at the cross

But Lord I’m listening now

With a contrite and broken heart

Secured in the knowledge that

you’ll never give up

on this wayward child of yours

(2001)

Backstory

photo credit:  fotosearch.com

Have you experienced times in your Christian walk where it seems if you were the very last item on God’s agenda and he had barely started His list?  (Please let me know I’m not the only one). 

I was quite a few years into my walk with God when I was hurt to the point that I felt broken, bruised and quite forsaken by God.  So in my humanistic way of thinking I thought well if God doesn’t care why should I…?  Thankfully He didn’t give up on me and out of that experience I wrote the above poem.  I'm so glad that almost, doesn't count..

Trusting Him, 
~Bernadine~